


In the name of love

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Crying, Fluff, Gay Sex, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Johnny gay panics, Kissing, M/M, Riding, So much kissing, Sort Of, but then it gets emotional, this is porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-23 19:34:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20201542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Johnny?”Everything has been building up to this. Every touch, every brush of hands, every shy smile from across the room. All the times Ten has crawled into Johnny’s bed at night, craving his warmth and affection, and every time Johnny invited Ten to take a seat on his lap, or kissed his cheek or neck just because he felt like it. The shared showers in which Johnny had to force himself not to look any longer than he needed to. The times Ten joked about wanting Johnny, were only so thinly disguised as jokes. The carefully crafted resolve they had built was crumbling before their eyes.“Can we talk?”





	In the name of love

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry for any mistakes, I didn’t fully edit this. Also it might not be that great but I miss johnten desperately and I was feeling like writing porn but then it got angsty out of nowhere?? Idk my mind. Anyway, enjoy!

“Johnny?”

Everything has been building up to this. Every touch, every brush of hands, every shy smile from across the room. All the times Ten has crawled into Johnny’s bed at night, craving his warmth and affection, and every time Johnny invited Ten to take a seat on his lap, or kissed his cheek or neck just because he felt like it. The shared showers in which Johnny had to force himself not to look any longer than he needed to. The times Ten joked about wanting Johnny, were only so thinly disguised as jokes. The carefully crafted resolve they had built was crumbling before their eyes.

“Can we talk?”

Johnny is sitting on his bed with his laptop perched atop his hips, and it’s late. Probably close to 10pm. There’s no one else around, most of them have gone to the dreamies dorm for a movie marathon that has been in talks for awhile, since tomorrow is their day off and they’re all night owls.  
When they asked Ten if he wished to accompany them and he responded with, “no thanks, I think I’m going to stay in and finish up a few projects now that I have some free time.” And gave Johnny a pointed look that held so many unspoken words, and he knew he was going to stay in too.

So, once the others had left, and Ten had said he was going to his room for a bit, Johnny did the same. He diddled around on his laptop trying to pass the time and ignore the thick tension settling within the small dorm room, and tried to control his nerves that were being sent into a frenzy at the fact that he was just waiting around.

Johnny slowly closes the lid to the computer and slides it off of him, setting it on the bedside table. He pats the bed next to him, an indication for Ten to sit down, and Ten complies.  
“What do you wanna talk about?” Johnny asks with a slight tremble to his voice, effectively doing a bad job at hiding his nervousness.

Ten sighed and stared down at the comforter where his hand was drawing random patterns. “I’m sure you know why I wanted you to stay here tonight. And you probably know what I want to talk about.”

Johnny chewed on his bottom lip and nodded.

At that, Ten turned his body to face Johnny, not breaking their sudden eye contact.

“Are we just friends?”

Johnny swallowed hard and suddenly felt like his throat was as dry as the Sonoran desert. He waffled in his mind for a moment, having no idea how to respond to that, because it was a question he too wanted too know the answer to.

“I... don’t know?” He said with an intense blush creeping up his cheeks.  
He was struggling to read Ten’s face, it looked like he was almost sad. His eyebrows slightly downturned and his eyes wide.

“Do you feel the same way about me as I feel about you?” Ten asks.

Johnny can feel his heart pounding his chest so hard he fears Ten will hear it.

“That depends on how you feel about me...” he forces out, feeling like his voice and competence had abandoned him.

Ten exhales deeply again, biting down on his own lips rather hard, and if Johnny wasn’t speechless right now, he’d tell him to stop, that he’s going to hurt himself.

Ten reaches out to take Johnny’s big hands into his smaller ones, laying his palms across Johnny’s and looking up at him again.

“You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you?” He chuckles, but it comes out shaky, indicating he was just as nervous and tense as Johnny.

They stay still for a moment, and it almost feels like time is frozen. Johnny is looking into Ten’s eyes, trying to communicate everything he wants to say, but can’t force himself to. He’s never been that great in confrontational situations.

“I’m not a mind reader, but I can guess what you’re thinking.” Ten finally says, and Johnny only blinks, making Ten chuckle again.

“Well, uh. Here goes nothing I guess.” He says as he leans forward with no rush, stopping only when his lips are centimeters from Johnny’s.  
He blinks up to look into Johnny’s eyes through his dark lashes, and feels a wave of heat run through his body. He’s really this close to kissing The Johnny Suh, and the realization is setting in that they’ve never gone this far before. If Ten didn’t know any better he’d venture to guess Johnny’s never even kissed another guy before, but that’s a conversation for another time.

To Ten’s ultimate shock, it’s Johnny who closes the distance and presses his lips against Ten’s, gingerly kissing him, testing the waters. His shock doesn’t last for long however, as he’s easily distracted by Johnny’s lips, and it would be so easy to just melt into them and forget about everything and everyone.

However, and Ten should have been fully expecting this, Johnny pulls away far too soon, looking as red as a tomato, and his eyes are as wide as saucers. Ten can’t help but to smile widely and start giggling.

“You’re so fucking cute.” The smaller says as he scoots his body closer to Johnny’s and wraps his arms around his neck, not even hesitating for a moment to kiss those beautiful lips again. “You probably have no idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you. But I didn’t want to break any boundaries.” Ten says in between their liplocks, and he immediately feels Johnny smile against him.

“Me either... I’ve wanted you for so long Ten...” Johnny says, wrapping his own hands around Ten’s minuscule waist.

Ten has no intention of stopping things as they’re moving, but the voice in the back of his mind is yelling at him over and over again that they really haven’t talked about anything, as Ten had requested in the first place. This is going to resolve their sexual tension, yes, but it won’t sort out everything else. The feelings, the relationship talk, the ‘what are we’ talk. Ten grumbles inwardly and pushes the thoughts away, knowing it will be much easier to approach them once both of them have calmed down from exploring this new, sexual territory between them.

“You seem a lot more confident now, hm?” Ten says upon pulling away completely, maneuvering himself to sit atop Johnny’s thick thighs, their chests pressed together.

“I’d say things are moving too fast but I feel like we’ve waited long enough. What do you think?” Ten asks, unable to keep his eyes from starting at Johnny’s plump and beautiful lips, the entire time wishing they were pressed against his.

“Definitely.”

With that confirmation, Ten kisses the older boy again, but quickly transitions into kissing down his long neck. As much as he desperately wanted to leave marks, he knew he should avoid the neck area, and go for the parts of his skin that wouldn’t be openly visible at all times to their managers.

So with that in mind, he reaches down and shucks Johnny’s black T-shirt off of him, and pushes him to lay back on the bed, getting right to business.  
He kisses down Johnny’s beautiful chest that he’s seen so, so many times, but now that it’s under his fingertips, everything feels so different. It feels hotter. It feels so much better.

Leaving marks here and there as he kisses down the expanse of Johnny’s torso, he soon reaches the edge of his gray sweats, and looks up to find Johnny staring at him.

“As hot as that is, I don’t wanna be the only one naked here.” Johnny says as he smiles down at Ten, who gets the message and peels his own shirt from his body, throwing it aside, and then getting to work shimmying Johnny out of his pants and boxers.

Once he’s fully naked and his half hard member is freed, Ten’s mouth is watering. Of course, as with the rest of Johnny, he’s seen him naked many times before, (i.e. their many shared showers) but to be this close to Johnny’s massive cock, and to be able to touch and taste it is exhilarating.

So since he can barely contain his excitement, he gets right to work, wrapping his small hands around Johnny’s cock, pumping it languidly as he kisses the tip. He’s imagined this scenario so many times before, the scenario in which he gets to finally suck Johnny’s dick, and he’s going to make the most of it.

After teasing a tiny bit, he lets his mouth sink down the length, taking as much into his mouth as he can. It’s big, he notes for the millionth time. It’s so big. And Ten fucking loves it.

As he sucks and swallows around the length, he uses his hands to fondle and grope at the heavy balls, making Johnny whimper under his ministrations.

Ten prides himself on his dick sucking skills. He hasn’t practiced so much to not be an absolute pro at it. And he’s using every ounce of knowledge he has on Johnny’s beautiful cock.

“Ten... I don’t wanna cum yet...” Johnny whimpers, and usually Ten would keep going despite this, always thirsty for a mouth or face full of cum. But the mere idea of this giant cock before him stretching his hole open has him shuddering. So with great despair, he pulls off.

“Fuck... you’re so fucking big, Johnny. You’ve been holding out on me.” He jokes as he sits back up, crawling out of his own sweatpants as he makes his way back to Johnny’s lap.  
Johnny laughs, but it dies off quickly as Ten sheds his boxers and grinds his erection against Johnny’s wet one.

“I wouldn’t expect you’d have lube but I know Yong does. Here, lemme look-“ Ten says, stumbling off of Johnny’s lap over to Taeyong’s side of the room, opening his bedside drawer and fishing around for a moment.   
“Aha!” He says as he picks up a small bottle and holds it up in triumph. Johnny decides he doesn’t want to know what has gone in on Taeyong’s side of the room while Johnny’s not been there. He suspects Jaehyun may have something to do with it, but that thought only grosses him out more, and he’s about to get laid, so he quickly replaces the images in his head with Ten.

Speaking of the feisty little Thai man himself, he’s currently clambering back on top of Johnny and opening up the lube, squirting some onto his fingers and reaching back, his brows furrowing as he slips the first finger in. He’s always loved the burn of the stretch.

Johnny is mesmerized by the look of pleasure mixed with pain on the younger’s face. He’d imagined what Ten would look like in a situation like this more times than he’d care to admit, but the real thing outshines every single one of his fantasies by a shocking amount. He’s so beautiful; his furrowed brows, his mouth just slightly hanging open and short, labored breathes coming out. His long neck being displayed so perfectly when he leans his head back in pleasure. Everything about Ten right now just dripped with sex.

Johnny doesn’t get to enjoy the image for very long, however, because Ten isn’t quite known for his patience. He’s quick to pull his fingers out, satisfied with how stretched he is, and grappled for the lube again. he squirts his fingers with the substance again and reaching down to pump it all over Johnny’s cock beneath him. At the feeling of Ten’s hands encasing his length once again, Johnny’s head fell back and he gulped, trying to keep himself from getting too excited yet- before the real fun could begin.

“Bet you can’t wait to sink this monster cock deep inside my ass.” Ten teases, leaning forward to kiss his lovers lips while he pumps him over and over again.

“You like that?” Ten whispers against his lips. “I’m gonna ride you, baby. Gonna sit on this giant fucking cock until I break.” He says in a low tone, easily maneuvering his body so that his wet hole is lined up with the blunt head of Johnny’s cock. He feels it nudging against his entrance, sending chills down both of their spines. Johnny hadn’t thought Ten would be one for dirty talk, but here they are. And Johnny can hardly get enough.

Ten grinds against the length for a few moments, feeling it slide against his hole, surely not giving any kind of satisfaction to Johnny’s aching erection, simply spurring him on as much as he possibly can, before he finally, finally lines the head up once again, and begins to slowly and languidly slide down. Feeling Ten’s heat sucking him in, Johnny is a flustered mess within mere second of Ten’s ass making contact with his hips, his cock fully seated.

“Fuck.” Johnny exhaled, moving to grab Ten’s asscheeks in his big hands, squeezing and kneading them, even going as far as to lay a slap on one of his cheeks. Ten yelped.

“Again.” He moaned, beginning to move his hips up and down, his hole clenching as it moved along the big cock, quivering.

Without even having to think about it, Johnny smacked the younger’s asscheek again, this time slightly harder. Ten was whimpering, burying his face into Johnny’s neck.

“Ughn, fuck, fuck. So good.” Ten muttered against Johnny’s skin.

“Youngho..”

Johnny tensed, having no idea that hearing his Korean name come from Ten’s pretty lips while the smaller male was riding him would elicit such deep arousing spreading throughout him.

“Fuck me like a man. Make me scream.” Ten growled, biting at Johnny’s neck, completely forgetting about the fact that he needed to avoid leaving marks. And who was Johnny to say no to such a request?

Johnny tightens his grip on Ten’s ass and uses it to lift the smaller up, giving him plenty of room to begin thrusting in and out, fast and hard. Ten wrapped his arms around Johnny’s broad shoulders to stabilize himself, and sat there taking it like a good boy. The sounds of Ten’s plush ass slapping against Johnny’s hips grew louder and louder as Johnny kept going faster, fucking Ten silly.

“My fucking god. You feel so good.” Johnny groaned, suddenly getting an overwhelming urge to touch Ten everywhere he could. So he halted his thrusts, reaching to grab Ten by the backs of his thighs.

“Hold onto me. I’m gonna move us.” He spoke, giving Ten a short kiss, and Ten nodded. He linked his arms behind Johnny’s neck and leaned close to him, letting Johnny roll them over and situate himself in between Ten’s spread legs. He doesn’t hesitate to resume his hard thrusts, forcing a deep moan from Ten’s throat. The smaller male maneuvered his legs to wrap around Johnny’s waist, linking them at the small of his back to keep him close, and Johnny responds by rubbing his hands down Ten’s waist and thighs.

“You’re so sexy. I’ve seen you naked so many times but now I get to touch you...” Johnny murmurs, feeling up Ten wherever he can get his hands. Ten exhales softly against his mouth. 

“Fuck, it feels so good to be touched by you, Youngho. I’ve always wanted you to touch me everywhere.” Ten whimpers, his voice breaking every time Johnny thrusts against him.

Johnny doesn’t respond, but clasps his hands around Ten’s tiny thighs and intensifies his thrusts, his breathing labored. He knew at this point it wasn’t going to be long before he was shooting his load. And he probably loves the thought of filling Ten up far too much. But he can’t bring himself to care.

“Can I cum in you?” He asks, staring down at Ten’s blissed out face. The younger doesn’t respond at first, his eyes closed and his mind focused on the pleasure Johnny was giving him.

“Baby, answer me. Can I cum in your pretty little hole? Fill you up nice and good?” He says, leaning down to nibble on Ten’s ear as he speaks.

“Y-Yes! Please cum in me!” Ten chokes out, already feeling close as well. Johnny senses this, and reaches down to wrap a hand around the leaking erection, pumping it until Ten tenses up, his arms tightening around Johnny’s shoulders as he spurts all over his stomach. 

“Ah, god yes.” He breathes, leaning up to kiss Johnny’s sweet lips while the older continues his thrusts. Ten doesn’t care, he can’t get enough.

He tears his lips away from Johnny’s and begins biting on his neck again, making his way to the older’s ear. “Fucking cum in me. Fill me up. Make me yours. I’ll take all of it.” He whispers, breathes hitching with the force of Johnny’s thrusts. And that’s what does it.

Johnny gives three more pistons of his hips before he’s pushing in as deep as he can, balls pressed tight against Ten’s rump as they spasm and throb, unloading the warm, wet cum deep inside Ten’s ass. The smaller is shaking and moaning, absolutely addicted to the full feeling, and the feeling of Johnny’s cock pressed as deep as it can go.

Without pulling out, Johnny manages to flip them over, so Ten is laying against Johnny’s chest again. As the high of his orgasm began to fade and his body relaxed, Ten let himself slump against Johnny, his head perched beneath the older’s chin. Johnny’s arms circled around Ten’s petite body, his palms rubbing comfortingly up and down the smaller’s back. For several minutes, they stay just like this, finding comfort and warmth within the embrace of one another’s naked body. Ten feels like his emotions are overflowing, being this close to Johnny- this position, pressed against each other so tightly, feels almost more intimate than the sex that they just had. Ten’s been so desperately in love with the man beneath him for so long, this position is doing things to his heart. He feels so at peace right now. But he knows it can’t last long. Because there’s a discussion that needs to happen between them.

“So,” Johnny starts with a chuckle, “you’re into dirty talk, like, a lot.”

Ten blushes furiously, smushing his cheek against Johnny’s chest. “If it got you to fuck me good, I don’t see a problem.” He said, almost too quietly to be heard. But Johnny heard him. 

Ten’s response made Johnny laugh again, nuzzling his nose affectionately in Ten’s hair. “I would have fucked you good no matter what. I feel like that’s a given.” 

Ten snorted.  
“You were so panicked, you had no idea what to do. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were a virgin, because damn. At the very least a gay virgin.” He said, having his own laugh this time, and Johnny chuckled along.

“Yeah, yeah. You make me speechless. And what about it?”

Ten slaps Johnny’s arm. “Oh, now you’re so smooth? After you made me initiate all this?” He said with a sly smirk, sitting up and looking at the older male before him. When they meet eyes, Johnny’s are disarmingly soft, staring into Ten’s with such affection. It almost feels as if a it’s a magnetic pull that moves Ten’s head forward to connect their lips in an oh so soft kiss, lips moving so slowly against each other. It’s the most magical kiss Ten has ever experienced.

When they pull away, Johnny still wears the same expression. He reached up and tenderly cups Ten’s cheeks, and Ten wants to cry. He’s never been a cryer after sex however, so he refuses to let himself. Despite how disgustingly in love he is with this big dumb giant.

“I’ve never felt this way before. Like, about anyone.” Johnny says, and Ten stays silent, waiting for Johnny to continue. Because he knows he has more to say.

So, Johnny swallows hard, and continues.

“You’re the first guy I ever had feelings for and at first I didn’t even think it was romantic feelings, because I didn’t think I was gay. But then you started getting really affectionate and intimate with me, and it made my heart race every time. So eventually I concluded that I do in fact have feelings for you. And after the first few months, I realized I was fully in love with you, not just a crush.” Johnny said, his cheeks pink and his eyes worried, anticipating Ten’s response.

Ten reaches up to grab hold onto Johnny’s hands that still rested on his cheeks, a small smile lighting itself up on his lips.

“I never thought I’d hear you say that,” he says, not even trying to resist the urge to kiss the taller male again, doing so over and over again. “You don’t have to worry baby. I love you too.”   
He untangles their hands and wraps his arms around Johnny’s neck again, kissing him and kissing him and kissing him. He decides he could stay just like this forever- in Johnny’s arms, lips on lips.

But after a few minutes of blissful peace, it’s Ten who pulls away again. There’s a weight on his shoulders that has yet to lift, and he needs to approach it.

“What are we, then?”

Johnny doesn’t respond at first, just stares at the younger. Soon, his eyes glance down to his lap unseeingly, and Ten can sense he’s in thought.

“Is it possible? For us to be together?” He says finally, eyes darting back up to look into Ten’s again.

Ten bites his lip and felt the long held tears coming on. He hates this part of the conversation- it brings back too many painful things. A childhood spent in a country that that discriminated against him for his sexuality, leading to teenage years spent in a different country where he was forced to suppress and hide how he felt and who he was, left having affairs behind closed doors that were never spoken about again by the next morning, heartache after heartache, rejection after rejection. It was exhausting.

He can’t even find the words he wants to say before tears are spilling out, and he’s falling forward, crying against Johnny’s chest. Of course, Johnny’s not sure exactly why Ten is crying, but he holds him and caresses him and soothes him, no matter the cause of his tears.

“Shh, baby, it’s okay. Don’t cry, baby. I’m right here. I’m never leaving.” Johnny says into his hair, while massaging his back.

Soon, Ten is lifting his head back up to look at Johnny, eyes and cheeks wet with tears. “The world hates me for being gay. How could we ever be together in peace? We’d be sneaking around and hiding away. Not to mention, I’m leaving soon for China. We’ll be separated for god knows how long.” Ten cries, sniffling and feebly wiping at his eyes. “I don’t want to be without you. I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t be yours. But we live in that fucking world and I can’t be yours.” He says through tears, giving out again and leaning against Johnny for support. 

“Ten. Look at me.” Johnny says sternly. Ten obeys, and blinks up into Johnny’s eyes.

“I’m willing to do anything for you. I’m willing to risk getting kicked out of this god awful company with you. And besides, if they kick us out, we can leave this country that hates us and move to Chicago where we could get married and have children.” Johnny says jokingly, but deep down both of them know he’s serious, because it’s all too possible for that scenario to become reality. Of the both of them getting kicked out by SM if what they’re doing gets caught.

Ten let’s himself bask in the fantasy of getting to marry Johnny someday, and have a family with him, for merely a moment before he’s snapping himself back into reality.   
To calm himself, he kisses Johnny again, only briefly, before pulling away and biting his lip. By this time, his tears have stopped flowing.

“I’m willing to try, for you. I love you.” He says, dipping his head forward to kiss Johnny again, but this time he doesn’t stop. He doesn’t pull away, and Johnny is quick to roll them over again, in a flurry of hands against skin, lips against lips. 

There’s so much more that needs to be breached. There’s so much more to come for them in the future. They know it’s risky, Ten knows. But what wouldn’t one do in the name of love?


End file.
